Relationships – Hope

 

When Hope shared her worries with her husband that he might hurt the children, he accompanied her to find help.

Written testimony

But I did talk to my husband, you know, I said something’s not right, something’s not right here, I don’t like this, something’s not right and I was also having intrusive thoughts about him hurting our children in a variety of ways, which threw me into a state of absolute panic. And you start – another thing with the intrusive thoughts, it’s like you play with them in your head, you’re are they true, is this true, you don’t know, you feel like you could, you feel like you would. You feel like it’s happened, you feel a sense of, not dismissal, you don’t, that’s a healthy person. A healthy person looks at an intrusive thought and says that’s BS. But it got, you know, in my intrusive thoughts, I mean imagine having to tell your husband, you know, I think you’re hurting the children. And I did, because I knew it was, I knew it was crazy and he said you’re sick, you need to get help.

And that didn’t ruin my ego or something, like he didn’t say that you are a sick idiot, you know, he didn’t say that. He said, you’re sick, you’re not thinking right, you need to go get help. My husband is a big man and I mean that in a spiritual way, he not many men can even play around with the idea of becoming a father to somebody who is not genetically theirs. A lot of men have huge crazy ego issues over that and it divides couples, they can’t adopt, they can’t use donor like, my husband is so open, you know, and mature and so. I know, like what I told him could’ve really hurt him a lot and it hurt him a lot and he could’ve reacted in a very different way, in a very defensive way or a very, a way to tell me to shut up and you’re sick, like in a mean way. But instead he said, it’s sick, these thoughts are sick, you’re having sick thoughts, you need to go get help and he accompanied me to get help, he never made me feel crazy, and thank god we have that.

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